Ah, Thanksgiving. A holiday we once enjoyed by letting our guard down, getting fat with relatives, and waiting for Uncle Bob to pass out before grabbing the remote and turning off the Cowboys game. That ideal version of Thanksgiving lasted from 1621 until 2015. And oh, how great it was. But now, a Kremlin-directed troll offensive is threatening to shake our once-great holiday to its very core. With Putin’s social media warriors seeking to sow discord at every chance, it’s simply no longer possible to trust that the Thanksgiving content in our News Feeds isn’t subversive foreign propaganda intended to rip our families, and our nation, apart. And thus, we, the people of this great nation, must examine every post, every recipe, every advice column and every meme, to make sure that the content at the foundation of our Thanksgiving observance is not being corrupted and weaponized to turn us against each other.

So, my friends and countrymen, here is a guide for you and your families to make sure the Russians don’t fuck with the turkey. This guide is gleaned from the front lines of the social media disinformation wars. Use it often. Use it wisely.

Check The Ingredients

The first place you should look for signs of Russian meddling is in the ingredients section of any Thanksgiving recipe content. If your traditional Thanksgiving meal recipe post recommends a feast of borscht, solyanka, and pierogi, you should view this with some suspicion (though it does sound delicious). When Grandma walks in with a meal made up of these items, immediately confiscate her phone and search it. If…

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